QBC’s Superbowl Bash is at Carabar tonight. The game will be shown on the big screen. Followed by a performance by QBC. And then a dance party Dejayed by Detox. I caught up with QBC before the big game.
Dallas Maverick and owner of the Dallas Mavericks Marc Cuban spoke on his idea of making his own league with the best college teams in a recent issue of Esquire. He talked of paying the players and using it as a farm system for the NBA, and NFL. While this is prolly never gonna come into fruition, there is already a new league with its own Dynasty. This dynasty is know as the Quarterback Club or QBC
It’s built by players that have been banned from the NFL. The players from QBC firmly believe that the game belongs to no man. And as they say, the game is to be sold not told, so every member of the Quarterback Club also raps. The interesting cross marketing tie-in is that all of these players rap and sell coke.
Howard Cokesell:We are at Eddie George’s Bar & Grill having a pre-Super Bowl meal with QBC. Would you guys please introduce yourselves?
Jun Elway:Quarterback. Starting Quarterback.
Boomer Assassin:Boomer Assassin.Bengals.
Dante Columbusrepper: Dante Columbusrepper. Killa
Young, Steve: Young, Steve
HC: What is the history of QBC?:
JE:I won the Punt, Pass and Kick as a foetus. I was bred for this game. I played 12 years in the NFL. I shanked NFL Commissioner Paul Taglibue. I got kicked out of the league. I played for the Destroyers.
HC:Wait you shanked the NFL Commissioner. Why did you do that?
JE: I shanked Paul Taglibue. He would’nt give me my money. I wanted all my Jersey profits. It’s my name. It doesn’t say Paul Taglibue on that motherfucker. It says Elway. The NFL standard is that the NFL gets 70 percent for your Jersey. Your likeness. I wanted 100 percent. They would’nt give it to me.
HC:Did you ask?
JE:No. I didn’t ask. I told them.This is what I want. If you want me to continue to play in your shit league. Then give me what I want. They did not give my money. So he got shanked in the ribcage.
HC: What did you shank him with?
JE:A cleat. It was a metal cleat. It wasn’t clay cleat. I still play with metal cleats.They look like Doc Martins with Spikes. Thats me.
HC:Whats your story Boomer Assassin?
BA: I was playing for the Bengals. Whats that guys name? The homo thug. Lets just say the league got too diversified. I had to take the exit.
JE:That man tried to kiss Boomer in the lockroom.
HC: Young,Steve? What’s your story?
Y,S:Well ,I am a Mormon (Go Mitt Romney!) and I attended BYU and shattered all sorts of collegiate records until going to the NFL where I sat on the bench for many years, became very depressed and became addicted to percodan. But when Joe Montana got traded to KC I got my shot. Got off the percs and won two super bowls in the mid-90s. In ’99 I was banned from the NFL by the NFL itself. I had recorded too many concussions and was a medical liability. Those greedy fucks just want my pension! Its all good though you can see me in the booth on ESPN givin analysis and all types of ill knowledge
HC:Why did you get kicked out of the league, Dante Columbusrepper?
DC:I got involved in gambling at young age. I realized if I gamble against my own team. It’s a lot easier to make money. You pick and choose what games you want to win. And what games you want to lose. I was gambling against my own team. We lost. I made millions. At the same time, during an instant replay they caught me counting my cash on the sideline. That was a highlight on ESPN. A week after that the scandal started. I took the money. That got invested. I started a rap record label.
HC:Speaking of sports entrepreneur’s. We are at Eddie George’s Bar & Grill. What are you guys eating?
Jun Elway:I got a deep fried meatloaf sandwhich
HC:How is it?
JE:Taste like victory.
HC: You equate manliness to victory?
JE:Thats the definative paragon of manliness is victory
HC:Boomer Assasin, What kind of food did you get?
HC:Hummus? Thats interesting.
BA:No, its not.
JE:He is a cultured homophobe.
DC: I got the traditional rib with a side of horseradish coleslaw. I think Lombardi made these himself.
HC:How does this compare to other player owned establishment?
JE:I think Ruger Rell got em.(Hell Rell of the Diplomats owns a ribplace called Ruger’s Ribs)
DC:You think?Ruger Rell does just sell Ribs.I don’t think Ruger Rell could make a deepfried meatloaf sandwhich.
HC:Moving on. I grew up real Hip Hop like Saul Williams,and Sage Francis.I thought rap was about poetry, and saving the enviroment? What is the connection between sports & rap?
DC:I want to know one rapper that drives a Hybrid car. Name one rapper that drives a Hybrid car.
JE:All rappers want to be Athletes. All athletes want to be rappers. QBC has the best of both worlds.
Y,S:But the connection between rap & football is simple. White Bitches. Its about gettin that guap and then movin on to the type of lifestyle where you can get a boss ass white bitch. Like Cheryl Tiegs or Adrienne Barbeau. Rap and sport both provide that. Its like Meth says on the new Wu, “Thats a given / like football players and white women”
HC:On that Jay-z song off of Blueprint 2, “Bitches and Sisters” he says “I ain’t no ball player, you ain’t gonna get pregnant again.Hit off with paper, you gonna get hit off and slid off”.
BA:Because Jay-z can’t run.
JE:He got them Chicken Legs.
BA:You mean the Camel? You ever seen a Camel run? And he smokes cigerettes I bet.
HC:What are some of the songs we can expect to hear?
DC:Either we “Fake it or Punt it”. Or “We Throw Far”(Ballin)
JE:We are all about throwing things. Whether its throwing games, or pitching that yay.
HC:What players have you sold coke to?
Y,S:Is dry snitchin ok these days? I can never tell if its in season or not. I had two major clients in the 80s. Both played defense and both had outlandish hair cuts. And ironically, both played in New York. One for the Giants, one for the Jets. One held the sack record for a long time and his wife and daughter had a reality show on E! or VH1 or some shit. The other was known as the original “LT” and had a badass gold lightening bolt earring.
BA:Micheal Vick. Maurice Clarett.We gonna sign you when you get out.
HC:What do you think about Micheal Vick? I think he is a political prisoner.
JE:He slipped up. But he was the best running back since Fran Tarkenton.
HC:What gambling tips would you have for Micheal Vick?
DC:Well, I got caught because I just wanted to count my money. It was there, and I wanted to look at it. I didn’t want to wait until the end of the week. JE:Micheal Vick doesn’t understand the Play Action pass. In footbal you got the play action pass. You hide everything. You hide the ball. Micheal Vick did not take that some concept to his life. He put all of his business out there.
HC:Ok. Alabama has Auburn. OSU has Michigan. Who is QBC’s rivals?
JE:I am not down with the whole Schoolboy movement.The only reason we didn’t like RNS is because they were affialiated with Schoolboy Entertainment.
HC:What endorsements does QBC have?
JE:Asics BA:I got my face on a Starter Jacket. No team. Just my face.
DC:I got my own line of dice. Columbusrepper dice, cards and poker chips. JE:Tevin Campell. Mariah Carey.
HC:Jun,last season, at the Daymon Day aftershow, you made everyone upset by going R+B? You were singing Color Me Badd.
BA:I was furious
DC:That wasn’t in the playbook.
JE:I called an old audible. I thoughtI was doing something different for the team.
BA:What they did is they didn’t show up for practice the day before. They got wasted when they got to the game anyway.
JE:Look every hood mentality rapper wants to be an R+B loverman.
BA:Keep it in the locker room.
JE:Look I have three girlfriends. I have to soften it up. They will be like, Jun Elway, I can’t take you home to mom if you are selling coke.
BA:You could sell coke to her mom.
HC:What your game isn’t that tight. You can’t sell coke to her parents?
JE: I sell coke for fun. I do it for the thrills.Some ex-football players sell salsa. Some football players create restaurants. I sell coke.
HC:How does your coke compare to Ruger Rells?
JE:My coke is topnotch.
BA:Half of this city can’t feel their face. Right Now. As we speak. JE:We are at Eddie George’s grill right. When I walked in. I saw 5 buyers. They looked at me like. ‘Why is he out?’ Then they ran to the ATM.
HC:Despite of the rough R+B start, you still won the Super Bowl. So you lost some of your players, do to salary cap issues, and other circumstances. You have any new recruits?
Y,S:We recruit anyone that has the heart of a lion, the brain of a pimp and a rocket for an arm. just send us some game film. THE TAPE DON’T LIE.
HC:Where do you guys recruit at?
All in unison:The streets.
HC:What about myspace? Is that a good way of recruiting?
JE:Thats a good way at recruiting underage girls.
DC:When you talk about prospects. You hear about someone who is good. You go and check them out on the low.NH. You don’t let em know you are watching. If they are good you approach them and let them know who you are.
JE:A few weeks ago, I tried to recruit Art Schilichter. He wasn’t down. I tried to recruit Steve Bellisari. He was drunk. He asked to buy some coke. I smacked him. He said, “What is that for?” I said thats for the interception against Michigan in 99. We tried to resurrect the ghost of Johnny Unitas.
BA:I tried to resurrect the mental dead.
HC:So at tonights games you are gonna reveal some new recruits can you give me 5 names of people that might be there?
BA:If we tell you, are you gonna leak the information?
HC:No, I am just gonna post it on the internet.
JE:You’re not gonna tell anyone?
HC:No, I am just gonna put it in this article.
BA:He is wearing a wire.
HC:Give me five names of people that might be at the game.
JE:Charlemagne. Brutus the Barber Beefcake.
BA: Blueprint. Anvelope? How do you say it, Envelope?
HC:Micheal Vick. He got that shaft. I really think he is a political prisoner.
BA:He is a loser.
HC:What about Cam’ron?
BA:Cam plays basketball. Plus he missed that shot.
JE: Naw he shot Mekhi Pfiefer.
BA:Killa Season. Not Paid in Full.
DC:Cam has his movement. QBC has the Drive.