On May 24th at 4am CJ Townsend and I were so bored that we attended afterparties for the Marcon convention at 4am. I am actually not sure what exactly Marcon is. But I think its a gathering of swingers that are also into Star Trek, World of Warcraft and Anime from all over the nation. It was a funny way to kill 90 minutes before they kicked me out.
Columbus skaterboarder/dejay socialite, CJ Townsend and I ran into each at Moral Tales at the Summit. Some weird girl had pulled me in the bathroom and tried to make out with me. It was funny at first but then became really annoying. I told her that currently she is annoying me but if she contacted me in about two hours it would be 5 am, and I would perhaps be bored enough to make out with her if I wasn’t asleep and had absolutely nothing better to do.
So I asked CJ if he wanted to hit up the Shelf/Skylab party for Bobby Silver, Nate Ober and someone else so that I could get the fuck away from said girl.(no offense but like Jeezy said, ‘I don’t know you”.)
By the time we got there it was winding down cause it was like 3:00 am or so . We hung out on the roof with Ron from Carabar, Envelope and Derik Yelloweyes .
I got a text from Danielle Kline saying we are missing out on Marcon Parties at the Hyatt.
Normally I feel like to go to something like Marcon to make fun of people shows how boring and lame your life is. I mean, if you have nothing better to do than laugh at nerds having fun then, what does that say about your life?
But guess what, I had nothing better to do. So I guess I am that bad off.
We got to the Hotel . I texted Danielle she brought an entourage of larpers that were willing to be guides for us non-wizards.
Upon entering the hotel, we saw an assortment of really funny looking people.
Make note of the man dressed like a prostitute in the Pirates of the Carrebean.
After roaming around for awhile and enjoying the beautiful people, we found a hotel party.
Everything was a lot more sexual and wild that I expected. People were taking their clothes off and randomly making out with each other.
CJ was quick to make friends while laughing at people.
Some rousing karoake set-off.
CJ found a watergun and began shooting people with it. He would then tap me and point out that he just shot “nerds” wit a watergun.
Somehow the party Live action role players were unable to deduce who was shooting them with a water gun. Karoake continued.
I felt bad that they were getting shot with a watergun because of how strange they appear. So I tried to make friends with them by joining in with the Karoake. I sat down next to the man that looking a whore for pirates and tried to sing along.
At this point Supergroover and Gnome enter the room, and announced that their was a furry party going on elsewhere.
The man dressed like a pirate prostitute did not want to be my friend. After CJ completed giving play by play on his phone we elected to leave with Supergroover and Gnome in pursuit of the furry party.
We stopped on every floor from like the 6th to 20th. Supergroover, Gnome and some other dood would get out an make this weird growl to try to get a response from the furries. I guest most furries aren’t social so most of the communication is non-verbal.
Supergroover, Gnome, and the other guy were all like 7 feet tall, 400 pounds and gay. Every now and then they would imply they would settle for a gay party, and say something creepy.
We would ignore them. CJ began to shoot them with his waterfun. CJ also inquired if he could deejay Marcon next year. He claimed to have a large selection of the non-existent “fantasy trance” genre..
(someone needs start making fantasty trance)
After giving up on the furry party we decided to go to this cafeteria area for refreshments.
I walked in the caferteria drinking and beer. I ate some chips. A couple Larpers asked me where my bagde was, and told me this was a private convention.
I would just ignore them and walk over to another chip bowl.
I eventually was surrounded by angry Larpers who told me I had to leave because I was violating their space.
I tried to tell them I was very important guest of the Hyatt. CJ claimed to be a famous dejay, and that I was his manager.
The nerds didn’t buy it. They kept telling me that they were going to call securty. I told them security would just escort me out so it didn’t really matter.
The nerds couldn’t comprehend the idea of someone who wasn’t afraid getting told on. So I would look away for two minutes while they starred at me.
The I would look up and say “hey, what are you looking at?”. They would reply “you aren’t supposed to be here”. They would tell me they were calling security.
I would respond, “oh yeah, I forgot”. Eventually I felt bad that the larpers that had taken us around might be ostracized from the their herd because of my behaviour.
So I went and hid in the bathroom with the intention of returning in an hour after security left, and my allies were gone.
TO make the close-minded normal hating nerds angry but no to violate my new friends.
After hiding in the bathroom I got board. SO I found CJ and we left.
All in all, most larpers just want to get laid and have fun. And ones that don’t hang out next to the concession stands
Good thing I left though because these guys could’ve shown up, and I would’ve been on the recieving end of the Marcon hammer of justice.
photos by dkline