Heavy metal is like a fucking cartoon.
Mastodon making an album with Barney.
Metallica and the cartoon named Lou Reed collaborating in what boiled down to the joke of the year.
Let me be your guide on ill shit. Ditch the beard and drop out of your burrito metal band.
No order. Follow my orders and cop. You’re welcome. Continue reading
Posted in 2011 Favorites
Some metal bands can be compared to historians. There are some bands who dedicate their entire existence to communicating their ideas about culture. There is Nile and Coffin Texts, both Egyptian themed bands; Xibalba, dedicated to Mayan culture; and Drudkh/ Hate Forest/ Astrofaes, who embrace their Slavonic roots. Enslaved, from Norway, have been playing viking-themed black metal since 1991. While the term “black metal” often elicits panda-painted men singing about satan, Enslaved have always operated outside of the box. Not content with the black metal status quo, Enslaved isn’t all tremolo and blast beats. The band side-steps the traditional sound and evolves toward progressive territories. While some Enslaved albums are not my cup of tea, I often look forward to hearing how the band is interpreting black metal. (You can download The Sleeping Gods EP in exchange for an email after the jump.)
Enslaved is headlining a tour that could have been “Clash of the Titans” for bearded Scion drivers. Unfortunately, polarizing group Ghost had to cancel the tour due to visa issues. Fear not bearded hustlers, Alcest, an equally polarizing French shoegaze band made of metal heads are still on board. Don’t expect any rampant satanism, just some time warp college dorm jams to take you back to 1992 and some dudes frowning. Unlike most metal shows, there may be actual women here. I’m letting you know in advance so you can ditch the deer in the headlights look.
Openers include yankees Junius (heavy progressive/ space rock) and local yankees Struck By Lightning.
The show starts at 6:30 pm on Saturday (October 1st) at Outland Live (18+).
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Tagged Alcest, Enslaved, Junius, Starwood, Struck by Lightning, vikings pagans satanists oh my
2010 can fuck right off. It was a year of non-stop disapointments and set backs. Truthfully, I can’t wait until 2010 is over because it is one year closer to total annihilation. Surly? Yes, but this is how I cope….
1. 1. Kriegshog- s/t (HG Fact)- every decade it seems that some Japanese hardcore monster is released. This is the one. Features a mind melting collage art of bombs, skeletons and soldiers. The new atomic age is here, pussies. Get on your knees. Added plus, they issued this thing and broke up.
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Posted in 2010 Favorites, Music
Tagged bastard noise, christian mistress, defeated sanity, hooded menace, immolation, kriegshog, mist, mortualia, vasaeleth, vomitor
Context:
There is a rebellion brewing among fans of Jack White’s label, Third Man Records, over the company’s decision to auction limited-edition releases to the highest bidder. After admitting that Third Man was inspired by profiteers who “flipped” the label’s releases on eBay, White has waded into the debate, telling critics to “stop all of the whining”. “We didn’t do anything to you but give you what you want,” he wrote. “Don’t want them to be expensive? Then guess what? Don’t WANT them.” (full story)
This dude is the lamest and so are his fan boys. If you can’t hang with people flipping YOUR collector versions then don’t make them. Oh wait… but would people buy them without some baseball card geekout feature?
Couple this with RSD Black Friday Edition it leads to believe that I’ll be able to sell my 90′s baseball card collection. Does anyone want a bedazzled Jerome Walton Rated Rookie with an unreleased boob shot taped to the back? First moron with a stiffy can have it for $75.
RSD and RSD Black Friday are luring the same people who would rather buy some Itunes stuff into record stores to buy some manufactured collectable. I mean, most of these people, IMO, have abandoned brick and mortar shops for the ease of ITunes/ downloads but the allure of getting in on the ground floor of something “collectable” is totally insane and will 100% fail when the general public no longer cares about “vinyls”. I’ve said it a million times, I don’t need a “holiday” to spend my money at a good record store.
It is sickening and I personally would rather spend my money on something ill. There are plenty of great records out new and reissued (and used!). Does the world need a “collectable” U2 record? Does the world need another U2 record period? Rock music ended with Les Rallizes Denudes. All these other dudes are false.
It bums me out to see all this major label trash getting issued for RSD. It’s a total cash grab. I read that you could buy the new George Benson on CD on Black Friday RSD (reg release date in Jan). COULD ANYONE CARE ABOUT GEORGE BENSON? ON A CD? I like taking smooth shits but smooth jazz can really fuck off.
Posted in Music
The 2010 Summer of Metal is starting to shape up in Columbus, starting with Nachtmystium on wednesday night at Carabar. For those of you not paying attention (and shame on you for not), Nachtmystium have been one of the forefathers in the USBM movement since their inception 10 years ago. Not content in ripping off Burzum and Darkthrone endlessly, Nachtmystium have been avoiding the trappings of black metal by including psych influences (and alienating black metal purists). They are touring in support of their new album “Addicts: Black Meddle Part 2″ which will be released on Century Media on June 8th. Come out and show the band why Columbus hosted the Scion Fest.
Free. Evil. Wednesday.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKqBQq-jCrs
Photos by Kirk Kline
Following a trail of destruction is easy. You might have seen the path of tornadoes in Oklahoma as they swooped and destroyed neighborhoods. Walking up to the LC on Sunday night the path of destruction was evident. You could see sticky dried brown liquid on the ground and you could hear it with every step. Yup, high fructose corn syrup all over the ground and that means one thing; the Insane Clown Posse were in town.
The Dark Carnival was on one side of the street and Ringling Brothers on the other side. Both have clowns and both have differing types of clientele. Police were stationed facing the LC. Kirk tried asking the cop a question and was ignored. He knew where we were headed. We knew where we were headed. Ugh. You could hear juggalos over the traffic “WOOT WOOT!” Continue reading
Raw review from donewasting’s unpaid staff. Consider this a charitable donation, Duffy.
I was really bummed that there was some other opener last night. I didn’t catch his name. He played techno stuff that had it’s moments. I totally was not into it. The thing that bugged me was he didn’t announce his name until 10 minutes in and I kept thinking “What if this is Kode 9 and I haven’t been paying attention.” Anyhow, if you showed up fashionably late, congrats.
According to jj, hakunna matata means “stoned bored hobo.” She (jj?) was dressed in some brown shawl, black bandana around her neck, black dress and white tennis shoes. In short, a homeless witch. JJ did not help her case against homelessness by constantly scratching her head.
Where it turned interesting was with the music. I won’t front, she has a great voice. Her first song was an acoustic joint that was incredibly stark and bare and complemented her voice wonderfully. Then she took the guitar off and handed it to the other part of jj?! The additional member was a male stoned bored hobo. As he took the guitar, he turned on the laptop where jj showed home movies, played their cd and she essentially turned in a kareoke set. He barely strummed along and watched the movies!
Some of the videos appeared to have been travel channel leftovers of the African savannah, soccer players or home movies. The soccer player featured a costume change on the part of the dude in the band where he shedded his jacket to reveal that he too was wearing A SOCCER JERSEY! Many of the home movies showed jj having some emotion which she showed none of while performing. Essentially, jj’s performance was the equivalent of going on a job interview and answering every question with “UMMMMMMMMMMMM”.
In short, Remember that girl in the freshman dorms that seemed kinda off, lightweight cute, smoked that homegrown bud and would talk frequently about her art? Then you found out she made art with tvs or pictures of her boobs and you thought “this shit sucks”. That was jj. Continue reading
