Freaky Franz aka Franz Lyons is a funny dude. The Columbus skateboarder will disappear for about a month. Then someone will slide you a fashion mag, and he will be modeling. Or you will catch wind he is on tour with Trapped Under Ice. Or He will just appear in a MIA/RYE RYE video.

Anyway, he currently has a local hit poppin’ with his song about getting that mail, Karl Malone.

I caught up with Franz just to soak in a little bit of the game.

How do you feel about these lames handcuffin?

I can’t call it man. I don’t mind it . But don’t cuff a girl who is supposd to be out here gettin it in. Then your just being a ball hog. Hit me on twitter i’ll set them straight @FREAKYFRANZ
If you are Karl Malone then who is John Stockon?

I would say my best friend and dj Cj b.k.a. Cornelieus Jackson (@cjtownsend88)

Do you really play with Utah Jazz on NBA Jam?

Na I’m a cavs fan BROWE but i mean I’m the mail man in real life

How did you end up in that MIA/Rye Rye “Sunshine” video?

It was the last few days of a new york trip and my friend AL hit me up and was there and said they wanted another black skateboarder and so we both went and Mia and Rye Rye thought we were cool so we all just hung out all day.

Where are you from in Columbus?

I’m from the HILLTOP. then I moved to the north side. Now I’m in the Short North

How do you have women in Norway if you are from there?

I mean swag recognize swag a language barrier couldn’t hold me

I heard you also be modeling on your own?

Ya, I was in some Converse commercials . And an extra in Law and Order SVU.

The fuck is up with converse?

They put me on and cut that check.

Some people front on Karl Malone? Why is that?

Cause they don’t know how to pass the ball and ride out for the team. They just wanna score

There are a lot of poor people out there? What are the top 5 ways of getting mail?

Of getting mail?

1.) Be a bad lookin bitch
2.) have guap
3.) Be FREAKY FRANZ
4.) play madden
5.) play NBA JAM

You get to skateboard on tour? What spots have you hit?

in 2010 i went to 32 states and 7 plus countries

What city has the ugliest women?

Butte, Montana

Who has the least swag in skateboarding?

LONG BOARDERS

I follow you on twitter. What is up with fightin?

Well I don’t know.  I don’t know how to keep my mouth shut sometimes.

Would you ever wear a shirt that says “I treat bitches right?”

OF COURSE

Whats next for Freaky Franz?

GET MORE FOLLOWERS @FREAKYFRANZ MAKE SOME MONEY AND PUT OUT THE “FREAKY TALES” &  “TOUR DE FRANZ” MIXTAPES

MP3:Freaky Franz- Karl Malone

Freaky Franz performed “Karl Malone” at last month’s Get Right to 1000 plus. This isn’t pictured above. I actually don’t know where the hell that photo is from. I put it up there cause Lil Eric is in it behind Franz.
However, DW has Freaky Franz’s local hit “Karl Malone” available so your lame-ass can try to swag up before going out on NYE

Follow Freaky Franz on twitter
He is the twenty-eleven Ice T.

Here is a new song by Rye Rye featuring MIA. It is very likable. But mainly I’m posting it because Lil Franz from Columbus has a cameo.

Fly Union have this drinking squad called the “Rossi Posse”. It centers around drinking Rossi. I think thats why they have drink special at Whud-Up Wednesdays that involves Rossi. Not Sure. But its inexpensive and comes in a large quantity.

 Above is a shaky video of a Fly Union and DJ Giovanny putting people down with the Rossi Posse on the Red Bull Party Bus that CJ Townsend hooked up last month. We basically rolled around drinking in a bus while CJ played various musics, including “Gold Chain” by Fly Union, a song thats has been popular on the blogs. 

All free-loading booze deals aside, Fly Union is back with another download thats been getting burn. Value Pack is a 4 song EP that Fly Union is giving aways.

MP3:Fly Union-Value Pack

On May 24th at 4am CJ Townsend and I were so bored that we attended afterparties for the Marcon convention at 4am. I am actually not sure what exactly Marcon is. But I think its a gathering of  swingers that are also into Star Trek, World of Warcraft and Anime from all over the nation. It was a funny way to kill 90 minutes before they kicked me out.

Columbus skaterboarder/dejay socialite, CJ Townsend and I ran into each at Moral Tales at the Summit. Some weird girl had pulled me in the bathroom and tried to make out with me. It was funny at first but then became really annoying.  I told her that currently she is annoying me but if she contacted me in about two hours it would be 5 am, and I would perhaps be bored enough to make out with her if I wasn’t asleep and had absolutely nothing better to do.

So I asked CJ if he wanted to hit up the Shelf/Skylab party for Bobby Silver, Nate Ober and someone else so that I could get the fuck away from said girl.(no offense  but like Jeezy said, ‘I don’t know you”.)

By the time we got there it was winding down cause it was like 3:00 am or so . We hung out on the roof with Ron from Carabar, Envelope  and Derik Yelloweyes . 

I got a text from Danielle Kline saying we are missing out on Marcon Parties at the Hyatt.

Normally I feel like to go to something like Marcon to make fun of people shows how boring and lame your life is. I mean, if you have nothing better to do than laugh at nerds having fun then, what does that say about your life?

But guess what, I had nothing better to do. So I guess I am that bad off.

We got to the Hotel . I texted Danielle she brought an entourage of larpers that were willing to be guides for us non-wizards.

Upon entering the hotel, we saw an assortment of really funny looking people.

Make note of the man dressed like a prostitute in the Pirates of the Carrebean.

After roaming around for awhile and enjoying the beautiful people, we found a hotel party.

Everything was a lot more sexual and wild that I expected. People were taking their clothes off and randomly making out with each other.

CJ was quick to make friends while laughing at people.

Some rousing karoake set-off.

CJ found a watergun and began shooting people with it. He would then tap me and point out that he just shot “nerds” wit a watergun.

 Somehow the party Live action role players were unable to deduce who was shooting them with a water gun. Karoake continued.

I felt bad that they were getting shot with a watergun because of how strange they appear. So I tried to make friends with them by joining in with the Karoake. I sat down next to the man that looking a whore for pirates and tried to sing along.

At this point Supergroover and Gnome enter the room, and announced that their was a furry party going on elsewhere.

The man dressed like a  pirate prostitute did not want to be my friend. After CJ completed giving play by play on his phone we elected to leave with Supergroover and Gnome in pursuit of the furry party.

We stopped on every floor from like the 6th to 20th. Supergroover, Gnome and some other dood would get out an make this weird growl to try to get a response from the furries. I guest most furries aren’t social so most of the communication is non-verbal.

Supergroover, Gnome, and the other guy were all like 7 feet tall, 400 pounds and gay. Every now and then they would imply they would settle for a gay party, and say something creepy.

We would ignore them. CJ began to shoot them with his waterfun. CJ also inquired if he could deejay Marcon next year. He claimed to have a large selection of the non-existent “fantasy trance” genre..

(someone needs start making fantasty trance)

After giving up on the furry party we decided to go to this cafeteria area for refreshments.

I walked in the caferteria drinking and beer. I ate some chips. A couple Larpers asked me where my bagde was, and told me this was a private convention.

I would just ignore them and walk over to another chip bowl.

I eventually was surrounded by angry Larpers who told me I had to leave because I was violating their space.

I tried to tell them I was very important guest of the Hyatt. CJ claimed to be a famous dejay, and that I was his manager.

The nerds didn’t buy it. They kept telling me that they were going to call securty. I told them security would just escort me out so it didn’t really matter.

The nerds couldn’t comprehend the idea of someone who wasn’t afraid getting told on. So I would look away for two minutes while they starred at me.

The I would look up and say “hey, what are you looking at?”. They would reply “you aren’t supposed to be here”. They would tell me they were calling security.

I would respond, “oh yeah, I forgot”. Eventually I felt bad that the larpers that had taken us around might be ostracized from the their herd because of my behaviour.

So I went and hid in the bathroom with the intention of returning in an hour after security left, and my allies were gone.

TO make the close-minded normal hating nerds angry but no to violate my new friends.

After hiding in the bathroom I got board. SO I found CJ and we left.

All in all, most larpers just want to get laid and have fun. And ones that don’t hang out next to the concession stands

Good thing I left though  because these guys could’ve shown up, and I would’ve been on the recieving end of the Marcon hammer of justice.

photos by dkline

Iglu is to Columbus skateboarding what Gucci Mane is to being an XTC popping aquitted murderer. I am sure there are some murderers that have killed more people but who cares about them. Last year I interviewed some Iglu and Embassy doods for the Alive before their last video premiere around this time. That video never came out because Franz somehow managed to catch his computer on fire. So this is a different video. It’s called Ginger. I talked to Embassy Boardshop owner Eric Barkow last night. He said the Ginger video is “good”.

You can watch the above trailer if you want to.

Columbus Power-Violence revivalists, Weedsteeler, once again became the most vocal proponent in the “Punks Should Ride Skateboards Not Bikes” movement with the above declaration. While I applaud the sense of design, culture, history and spelling–fact is gas prices are at 4 nearly dollars a gallon –So I am not sure if Weedsteeler will win this arguement.

But regardless these stickers are funny and available at Embassy Boardshop.

In related Columbus Skateboard hate-mongering; Iglu has a new myspace. The skategang put a bunch of video clips in their blog, like this one:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Well. I was at a Wedding in Cincy all weekend. Bro’s before the Year’s Most Crucial Show.. So I missed out. From the text messages and phone calls I received I have gathered this much:

1. Although Soulja Boy is a household name because of “Crank Dat’, he was the opener. And people didn’t really give a shit either way that he performed.

2. MIA’s show was so live that at least 3 members of IGLU and 1 PBJ member got kicked out, and snuck back in at least 4 times for crowd surfing, underage drinking and god knows what else. From everything I gathered MIA was demanding security to let people dance with her on stage. I guess greater 270 turned the Newport into a huge dance riot similar to Get Right.

I am sure this is most photographed for myspace/facebook event in Columbus History. I got these photos from the homie Steve Lieb’s Blog, We Got More Bounce in Columbus.

3. Changed my mind about MIA not being attractive.

4. I also think there should be a remix of “Paper Planes” where I make various weapons noises with my mouth to replace the gunshots. Like the first part would have me making punch sounds maybe I would say “arugam” from Street Fighter first. Then the second part I would make machine gun noises. Eventually I would lead up to making bomb explosion noises.

What? Like I said I missed the show.