Found this online:
Is your skin raw from repeated attempts to scrub yourself out of the shame spiral brought on by watching “Britney and Kevin: Chaotic”? Well, take comfort, y’all — you’re not alone.
Critics, apparently unable to handle the truth according to the Federlines, have delivered an evisceration of the shaky, flaky reality series not seen since the debut of “Hello, Larry.”
Seems they were unimpressed by Britney’s unparalleled talent for making goofy pig faces and tossing off such bon mots as, “Our sex is so good — ecstasy, ecstasy, ecstasy,” and, “They look like boobs, but they’re not. They’re my knees.”
Not even Kevin’s deep thoughts on marriage (“I don’t believe in it”) or the video evidence that the greasy ex-dancer does, in fact, bathe could win them over.
Here are some of the critical lowlights:
Variety: “A self-indulgent, mindless piece of drivel … a visual assault of nauseating camera angles, likely to upset even the most desensitized TV viewer … It makes Jessica and Nick look like Mensa candidates.”
The Washington Post: “There’s no danger of anyone ever dumbing it down. A dumber downer would potentially be lethal. It would have to be buried in lead for 10,000 years, like nuclear waste … An execrable mess by absolutely any standard, though of course these days the idea of standards is just all too uncool. It was America’s crummiest home video.”
Entertainment Weekly: “Career suicide by videocam … The truth is not only that she’s vapid, but that she’s self-obsessed to a dangerous degree.”
The Hollywood Reporter: “Spears comes across like a party-hearty college girl with her shaky-cam, finger-up-her-nose, close-up-of-her-pores, leering video snippets.”
The Boston Globe: “It’s just a tedious public exercise in self-importance and striptease.”
Television Without Pity: “The show is like an extremely boring car crash: It sucks and really nothing at all happens in the end, but nevertheless you can’t look away — the only true entertainment value being the constant and very real threat that at any minute either of Britney’s gigantic bodyguards might kick the [bleep] out of K. Fed, whom they obviously hate.”
Yee-ouch. Viewers seemed to agree with the brutal assessments: “Chaotic” finished dead last in its time slot.
Awesome.