Friday night in Columbus will be a momentous occasion. Yes, it will be the best show at Bernie’s all year, but that’s not what I’m talking about. Friday night will likely be the last performance of the original* Tree of Snakes lineup, as bassist Mike Hinze (the incredibly tall guy in the incredibly lifelike rendering above) departs for sunny Santa Monica, CA, home of his wife’s new job. However, this departure could just be a continuation of what has proved to be a winning strategy for the Snakes: Play as few shows as possible, practice less often than that (Awwww, I’m kidding guys). Since 2001 or so, the fearsome foursome of Jeff Fernengel (guitar/lead vocals), Adam Anderson (drums), Hinze, and Victor Anderson (background vocals/hype man) have lurked on and around campus, playing legendary house shows and then disappearing into the night, leaving only a fridge emptied of beer as evidence. Their one legitimate album (2004’s The Ottoman Empire Strikes Back, on Peanut Butter & Smelly Records) is jam-packed with beery singalongs, colorful heroes/villains, and practical life advice (like avoiding “Yellow Snow”). Hopefully they find a way to put another album together.
Of course, the only way to actually experience the mighty fury that is the Tree of Snakes is to see them live, so you better make it to Bernie’s Friday night, no excuses. To celebrate properly, the boys have assembled a bunch of their friends to perform alongside them: Envelope, Times New Viking, and Necropolis. Rumors abound as to other special attractions in the basement for the festivities, but you’ll have to dig those up on your own. Come out early for happy hour and do it right.
*That could be false, but fact-checking is for jerks.