Weakened Wrap-up # 20: Bloggin Ain’t Easy

Pictured: Puscifer@LC

Look, Life really is what you make it and as dumb and silly and boring and rehashed and cliche as that sounds, that’s the way the cookie crumbles brother. I really have been on a pretty intense YEAH! LIFE! YEAH! IT IS COOL! don’t sweat the small stuff kinda trip and it’s great. Let’s hang out, I will make you LOL. Life’s to short to be boring and stupid. Everyone should be cool and fun instead. Life should be more Celestine Prophecy and less 48 Laws of Power. Gnome sayin?

I totally forgot what is was like to get excited for shows and I totally forgot what kind of a bummer it is when a band cancels. Yes, let’s talk about the bands. I saw some doozies! Shilpa Ray and her Happy Hookers, Phantods, Ghost Shirt, The Altered States of the United Snakes, ipps, not Goes Cube (super bummed), Puscifer (Maynard James Motherfucking Keenan) and I even caught a David Bazan song or two. (I know right). 1-2-3-go! Read more! After the jump!

Pictured: Shilpa Ray and her Happy Hookers@Summit

Sometimes I’m not so good at planning ahead, especially after a pretty much epic two weeks. I remembered super last minute that Shilpa Ray and her Happy Hookers were on their way back to NYC from SXSW, I remembered how awesome Beat the Devil were, I remembered Shilpa was the singer for Beat the Devil, that they were playing Wednesday night at The Summit and I remembered all the cool kids were talking about her. Thank god I remembered to go to this. Super futuristic, totally retro vibe and Shilpa’s voice is out if this world, I think maybe she’s an alien! I mean, a harmonium? Have you seen these things? They look like they’re from Mars! For real though, Miss Shilpa Ray has a hypnotizing voice and her Happy Hookers are one of the tightest groups of players I’ve seen in a minute. Shilpa and I totally bro’ed down and I got her stoked to check out Warpaint. Til next time alien voice harmonium player from Mars!

Pictured: Phantods@Ravari

Basically, Shilpa got me stoked for awesome vocalists and knowing I was going to see Maynard on Sunday, I totally had to go get mesmerized by Gretchen King and Phantods on Friday evening at Ravari room. Quick shout out to openers The Lost Revival, whom I missed and closers/Donewaiting friends and 52 singles in 52 weeks dudes, Ghost Shirt. O.k. enough about those dudes, let’s get back to Phantods and how cool and fun they are. Like their tunes or not, there is no denying that this fantastic looking group are super tight and that Gretchen has golden pipes. If somehow I could have seen Shilpa, Gretchen and Maynard on the same bill I’m pretty sure that it would mean that I was on the island. L O S T. If you like cool shit and don’t hate it and aren’t stupid, go see Phantods or buy their music. At the very least, you gotta dig their song “Revival” and CD101, if you are reading this, quit sleeping and play it! I know you guys love cool shit!

Sooo…here’s where my super cool, totally rad weakened (see what I did there) took a turn for the bummer. I was super super stoked to see Brooklyn boys, Goes Cube at Carabar, but as life goes, a member of Goes Cube fell ill and was unable to perform. WAY TO GET SICK GOES CUBE DUDE. (get well soon) I’ve seen Goes Cube on a couple of occasions before and was jamming hard on their most recent jawn, “Another Day Has Passed” leading up to the show, man such a good fucking record. I mean, the easiest way to describe them is a heavy shoegazey post-Deftonesey kinda thing without any of the negative, dumb, stupid, retartar nu-metal connotations. Hope that makes sense and I hope I get to see these dudes in the near future. Goes Cube you owe me a rad set! Ima be real here, I drowned my sorrows for the duration of the evening. Pretty sure Ron was testing my metal (see what I did there) by feeding me as much Tullamore Dew as possible. I hung pretty tough though. Donewaiting goes hard.

Pictured: The Altered States of the United Snakes@Carabar

The Altered States of the United Snakes is a super group of sorts if you will. Matt Bisaro from Necropolis, Adam Smith from Necropolis and record label you should be paying attention to, Columbus Discount Records, Fred from Swampleather and Autistic Theater dude, Davey Highben. Totally listenabletoable experimental borderline psych rock weirdness.

Pictured: ipps@Carabar

ipps are cool! Mike O! Yeah! I was doing shots and arguing with Ron! Yeah! Go see ipps! Emily, Bo-go buy cool stuff for you’re soon to be cool baby at Lottie Da Baby Boutique! Yeah!

Pictured: Puscifer@LC

All right, now comes the part of the weekend that I was super excited about, Puscifer at the LC. I mean, things could have gone a little smoother, I forgot how annoying Tool fans are (the worst!) and I was reminded why I dont totally love big rock shows. (full disclosure I fucking love Tool and my username on a certain message board may or may not be thisoneholymedium, which may or may not be a reference to the Tool song “Prison Sex”)

I’m on this big synchronicity trip as of late and I just so happened to be seated next to the ColumbusUnderground reviewer and thought that was a trip. Then she said she didn’t know who Donewaiting was (I know right). Then she totally thought opener Neil Hamburger was MJK (I know right). Looking forward to the review. Whatever, here nor there. The worlds worst comedian Neil Hamburger started to show with his brand of “humor” and never having seen him before, I will admit to being entertained. I mean who doesn’t love bad Jackson 5 jokes, err, uhh, I mean Jackson 4 jokes.

Ohio dudes Uncle Scratch’s Gospel Revival followed Neil Hamburger. I was busy telling anyone who would listen about how cool Donewaiting is so I caught about 3 songs of their set, definitely more of a performance/improv type thing, it was getting loud and hard to follow their banter and it was pretty much lost on me. Sorry dudes, Tool fans are the worst!

It was finally Puscifer time and we were all in Maynard’s house. Everyone had an assigned seat and there were no cameras allowed. The lights came up and the crowd was basically in the parking lot of “The Short Arm Inn” and Puscifer was performing right out front. I understand that there are a few different sets on this tour and this evening it was like a weirdo cross between Hee Haw, Dukes of Hazard and Deliverance. Maynard has a penchant for gettin all dressed up and tonight he looked like a deranged cross between Conway Twitty and Bo and Luke Duke. We were treated to some good timey country tunes like Cuntry Boner and a cuntrified version of the ode to big girls, “Queen Bee”. Check out real Donewaiting photog pics here.

It was fun and cool and tongue in cheek and sketch comedy and haha Maynard haha all these people would come and listen to you loop farts. Haha. I was losing patience fast for a multitude of reasons, but the lights finally dropped and shit was about to finally get mean. I was knee deep in 32 oz. draft beers at this point in the evening, so I’m not gonna front like I remember the order of the songs or some shit, but things pretty much went from Hee Haw to Deliverance just like that. We were no longer at the “Short Arm Inn”, more like the hotel from Blade Runner. Maynard and British singer chick Carina Round posted up behind some HD TV monitor thingies with fish eye camera’s in front of their faces and proceeded to rock the fuck out of the LC. They jammed “The Mission”, A Perfect Circle sound alikes “Polar Bear” and “Humbling River” and man I swear to whomever that I heard a Tool riff in there somewhere. The Puscifer crew was rolling deep with awesome musicians-Tim Alexander from Primus, Carina Round, Johnny Polonsky and the dudes From Ashes Divide. For some reason I found it kind of ironic that Pedro the Lion dude, David Bazan was performing at The Basement the same night. I went to check that out real quick after Puscifer, I was worried I would burst in to flames upon entrance. That didn’t happen but I was shooshed pretty much immediately. Go Figure!

I woke up on Monday and won CD101 Big Room passes (caller #10 what) to see Vampire Weekend. Wes Flexner post forthcoming. No shit.

Yeah! Life! Yeah!